If you’ve spent your real estate career helping growing families, “stuff” may not have been a major concern. Most clients moved into larger homes and brought everything with them. But when you’re helping older adults downsize, belongings take center stage—and they can become the biggest challenge in the entire process.
Why “Stuff” Becomes So Important
There are three key reasons belongings become a significant barrier during downsizing:
- Emotional weight
Stuff isn’t just stuff—it represents a lifetime of memories, accomplishments, and identity. Letting go of possessions can feel like letting go of pieces of one’s self. The emotional difficulty often comes as a surprise, even to the most practical people. - Sheer volume and decision fatigue
People who have lived in one place for 20, 30, or 40 years have accumulated a tremendous number of items. When it’s time to move, they often feel responsible for sorting, evaluating, and deciding what to do with every single item. That means thousands of decisions at a time when they’re already stressed. - The sunk-cost effect
Many people struggle with the realization that their expensive furniture, décor, or collectibles no longer hold monetary value. That dining room set they paid thousands for? It may not sell at all. These losses feel like rejection and often trigger frustration or sadness.
What Realtors® Should Avoid
There are a few common missteps that can complicate things even further:
- Avoid assigning value. No matter how experienced you are, estimating the resale value of personal belongings is outside your professional role—and may lead to misunderstandings. Even appraisers and estate professionals can’t predict what any given item will sell for.
- Avoid focusing on what needs to go. When you’re listing a house, you’re trained to envision it without all of the “stuff”. It can be tempting to focus on getting rid of everything so you can clean, repair, stage, etc. But if you put too much emphasis on divesting, it overwhelms clients and creates resistance. Instead, the process should begin with identifying what’s going with them. Then, as the project proceeds, you can devise a plan for dealing with everything that’s not going with.
A Better Approach
The key to a successful downsizing experience is helping clients determine what they want to keep. That’s the most important pile. Once clients know where they’re moving, and you have a floor plan in hand, you can help them focus on selecting the items that will support their daily lives and bring them comfort in their new home.
This approach is efficient, positive, and empowering. It helps people preserve their energy for the most important decisions and provides a framework for the rest of the process.
When to Begin Downsizing
Many Realtors® call me to say they have a client who is “ready to downsize” but hasn’t yet selected their next home. My advice is always the same: wait.
Decluttering is fine. But full-scale downsizing—reducing belongings by 80% or more—should never begin until the client knows exactly where they are going. Only then can you make informed decisions about what fits, what’s useful, and what truly matters.
Why Capable Dedicated Partners Matter
Realtors® don’t have to handle the emotional or logistical side of downsizing alone. Partnering with senior move managers, downsizing specialists, and professional organizers ensures your clients receive the guidance and hands-on help they need—without overextending yourself.
Bringing in trained professionals can also prevent problems, reduce stress, and lead to better outcomes for everyone involved. Your clients will remember that you provided the right support at the right time.
What Happens to the Rest?
Once the “going with” items are chosen, the remaining belongings can be addressed in a logical order:
- Gifts to family and friends
- Items that may be sold (if it’s worth the effort)
- Donations to local charities
- Disposal of household chemicals and non-accepted items
Every market is different, and the services available vary widely. In some areas, a one-stop service can handle everything. In others, you’ll need a mix of haulers, donation centers, auction houses, and specialized disposal providers. Finding and maintaining relationships with reputable vendors makes all the difference.
The Key Takeaways
- Understand the role “stuff” plays in making downsizing difficult—emotionally and logistically.
- Encourage clients to wait until they have a destination and a floor plan before deciding what to take.
- Keep the focus on the future, not the past. Let them build their new space thoughtfully.
- Refer to trained professionals who specialize in downsizing transitions.
- Don’t promise financial returns on items—help them manage expectations with clarity and compassion.
Downsizing can be a positive and liberating experience when it’s approached with sensitivity, structure, and support. As a Realtor®, your guidance—and the team you bring to the table—can make all the difference.
